Dear Day

Dear Day,

I promise to laugh more

than I did yesterday,
to boldly be

beauty's most devoted witness,

to compliment and appreciate

the mundane and missing,

to stretch towards

the sun even if it

looks like its about to rain,

and to follow a friend

where ever she may lead,
to twirl and whirl,

and love all things flying on the 'wild air,'

I promise not to expect anything

that I can't give first.

but to believe in the flow and movement

of all rivers even the unseen ones.

I promise to to Skip and Whee
to be a hero
chase clouds, blow bubbles and choose courage
to practice what I love

and say less about it...

play as hard as possible

seeking adventures

in the unexpected occurrences,

to believe with such immediate

and unchallenged faith,

to know nothing

but wonder is coming my way.

and

Dear Day,

consider this my prayer

of 'thank you' before...

you even begin!

Sincerely, me

Pam Piper Rain

Henry and Georgia

So my studio was a mess,

the layout inefficient organized chaos,

has been that way for nine years or more...

but when is the right time to rip apart

"the heartbeat of your business,

the hub center of your home"...

finally late one night can't bear it

another minute...

There really isn't the time for it,

right off Project Pinwheels and

headed into another show series?

But maybe just a little clean out and

repositioning of tables,

how long can that take?

We all know how that goes!

Hmmm?

To move that table,

I am going to have to

clear the room first...

patio works well for the piles

oh, look the exposed floor

need to be scrubbed, and the walls

are marked up and need a paint job...

well there was that idea for

the Georgia O Keefe

orange ladder to "no where" painting

I thought of doing!

But needs a cool background,

how about a new faux finish

greens and yellows?

Using some big woolie pad thing,

oh that's right,

I am not very good at this,

I forgot!

What about a quote also! Yes, words,

but which one of all my faves?

A fan of words on walls this is the fifth one

in my house,

some of which from Dr.Seuss,

Van Gogh and Rilke!

(Love this way to surround one's

world with words!)

Decide on Henry Millers',

poem about living AWARE!

THEN everything has to come back in,

well not everything

just the stuff I plan to use more

than twice a year, maybe that is

limiting creative possibilities

but its not a very big space,

just an extra bedroom, really!

The rest to the garage

hmmm..have to clean out

the garage first

but what to do with all the stuff

already in THERE I don't use.

"hi, St Vincents? I have a pick up for you!"

Three days later,

its again my favorite room.

I can breathe here,

the space feels revitalized

and I feel an openess of

creative energy

already flooding in!

On the wings of Henry and Georgia?

Would like to think so!

Together maybe we will create

images and words from being

"joyously, serenely aware"

and that climb on the orange ladder

takes me "somewhere?"

Like a sky of infinite wonders

and the belief that

anything is possible?

Yeah, maybe that!

Thank you, Georgia and Henry,

in advance!

Pam Piper Rain

Project Pinwheels with Love

After an evening of pinwheel assembly

thanks to my wondrous friends,

(their assembly line

process actually was more efficient

when I stayed out of it! hmmm?)

Then a late night... thinking

what I would say

to any and all who would gather

for this event

how to honor what I have

learned from her life, how to appreciate!

And how honest should I be?

Then it is Saturday morning,

the day of Paddles and Pinwheels

and I feel terrified,

terrified that I actually pulled this off

and people might show up and

I have to continue to make it happen

yikes...what if I just stay in bed instead?

So tired, so many late nights,

so many pinwheels

so much OTT!

But the sunrise makes me crank up

U2's "Its a Beautiful day"

(our first year of paddling theme song!)

The silver of blue I can see from my house

is calm and beyond perfect in

its glinting invitation and wonder!

Here we go!

Like an All Star athlete I make sure

my ritualistic paddle wear is in place

my Santa Barbara purple Survivor bandanna

(from Jen's 2008 promised Rig Run)

always worn on left arm as solidarity

for her and Kuba!

Celebrate the Temporary shirt on,

complete with glittered added heart!

(Carolyn's contribution to the OTT!)

The Maori necklace for protection

on the water

(a SB gift from Jen!)

Wild Wear Pinwheel Bobble Bands

and the right underwear?...wait

No, nix that, just paddle pants!

At the beach...

such warm greetings from smiling friends

old and new, helping in any way they can,

so many people showing up including a

team from Tempe AZ,

we actually run out of OC-6 seats

There are pinwheels everywhere

on hats, kayaks, four on each Outrigger canoe,

it is a stunning sight!

Okay, don't cry...

And there is my other beautiful, strong,

cancer fighting friend, Kuba, just back

from the Mayo in Phoenix...

okay, don't cry some more

got to get through this...

speech or not?...not sure I want Kuba

to hear what I have to say

too close to home...

but I attempt it!

Standing on the wall

knees shaking uncontrollablly

voice wavering,

its a surprise I don't fall off

or cry...I say

I am so humbled and appreciative of your

participation in this event, one so near and dear to my heart!

One inspired by the life and loss of

my best friend and teammate Jennifer Andrews!

She became a champion athlete late in life

and no one was more surprised than she!

Joining up with five others to be like the Jamaican bobsled team, doing

an unlikely sport at an unlikely age in an unlikely place.

She was a mother, grandmother, artist and...so funny, spunky,

sparkly and sassy! A vibrant passing light!

She loved this sport more than anything except maybe Holidays!

Easter and Pinwheels a particular favorite.

After long trips to chemo we would encourage her

with gardens of pinwheels!

I talked to Jen daily, sometimes four and five times

and never dreamed she wouldn't beat it

and that I would be without her friendship!

So no one was more stunned than I, when she didn’t!

It unraveled me and I didn’t want to live, and one night in April,

I almost didn’t and while I got in a lot of trouble that night,

it also saved my life!

Some where along the way I decided I needed to live, and REALLY live,

to be wild and passionate about everything in her honor

cause Jen didn’t have that choice and hers is a story, I am commited to tell!

Cancer sucks! But if we learn to live better because of it...it has a purpose!

And those who have crossed over and fought the great fight, have given us

the invaluable gift of thier lives and a lesson to always

celebrate the temporary.

Life is a ride, and as often as possible we must find moments that require a shouted out... WHEE...holding on and seeing where this

amazing ride might take us!

Cause its all we really have...

So lets paddle and have a blast! Thank you!

Minutes later, I am in the boat

sitting seat one...headed into

the channel

trying to get my brain around a

seven mile race I haven't even

thought about

due to pinwheels on the brain

so not ready...yikes!

not warmed up, forgot water

pinwheels bobbles, still, on my head,

can I even paddle with

these on?

Takes a bit not to knock them

off during the changes

but decide I love the spinning sound

and their shadow

on the canoes surface!

Should consider wearing them

for every race!

I feel her everywhere and smile a lot

despite the fatigue and

lack of drinking water!!

We fight it out with Tempe for third place!

but can't beat them.

No matter...it is a beautiful day

so many happy people on the water

and on shore!

Coming into the finish line with the

other boats bobbing and waiting

for us, we ride up over the front

of the winner's canoe

and nearly flip over...

"okay, Jen is that you?

messing with me...cause YOU know

how much I hate a huli?

Always, the funny girl...

Hope you know

this one was for you,

my friend...

know that you are missed

and oh, so celebrated,

loving you in the wind, Jen!"

Now about next year....

more pinwheels

custom made ones, t shirts and lots

of Pinwheel Bobble Bands and what about...

those gingerbread cookies and ....

Pam Piper Rain

For more pics of Paddles and Pinwheels

find me on Facebook

Its called OTT

Everyone has a letter disease, right?

And if you say No,

your probably one of those people,

whose friends

discuss your letter disease privately...

Lucky me,

I have two!

One requires a novel to describe

the other...worthy of,

a blogging short version.

It's called OTT!

And I have two confirmed friends

who share in this most wonderful

and nutty affliction.

OTT is short for "over the top!"

You know them as people

who can't just make a ginger bread cookie

but must frost them so they

ACTUALLY represent the recipients

in little frosted shorts and skirts!

(yes, one of my confirmed friends

did this for us at Christmas)

This is OTT at its best!

Could also be called the AAB club,

"above and beyond!"

Pretty sure I get this from my "mom"

Something that drove me

crazy growing up

and... then I became it!

It starts like this...

A January call to one of my OTT friends.

(the older one)

"Hi, I got this fab idea!

We should do a Paddles and Pinwheel

event to Celebrate Jennifer, in February!"

"That is a great idea but

we don't have much time!"

"Oh, we'll keep it simple, easy,

nothing "over the top!"! "

says one OTT to another...

hmmmm? Right!

Really, easy, just

order some pinwheels

and suction cups

show up, have fun,

say a few words,

paddle, go home,

best friend celebrated,

project done!

Hmmm?

But T shirts would be nice

since I don't have anything pink

and I have been wanting to try that

new Zazzel company,

I'll just make one for me

and well, Carolyn too

cause it's her birthday and well

Sara and Anita would probably like one.

Should be working

on Winterfest stuff instead

but this will just take a minute.

It didn't!

And how hard is it to

find suction cups to hold

a flag or pinwheel?

Really hard, three weeks,

hours on the computer and phone

and seven samples later,

Finally, they arrive with two days to spare!

Whew!

But the pinwheels? Should be easy!

Proceed to order some

'make your own' kits

and Valentines ones...so perfect!

They arrive early with time to spare

but Valentine's ones are too small

and the kit?... is just lame.

Whaa!

Back to the computer drawing board!

So last Friday, with a million "art show"

things to do,

I finally find the most perfect pinwheel

Hawaiian style.

Luau with flowers!

With confidence I push "checkout."

Plenty of time to get them!

Plenty!

In the mean time shirts arrive...

very cool!

But OTT friend says,

"you didn't order one for Kuba?

she loves pink!"

Whoops, yes, I should of

back to the computer.

Its Monday, now! Gosh, cutting it close!

OTT friend, takes the others

home to dye them

so they might be a multi pink!

Okay!

What if the pinwheels don't show up

until Saturday afternoon?

Panic!

Hmmm, better revisit the lame

'make it yourself' kits.

So I will make one design

specifically for Jen,

well maybe two...

no, actually how about three...

three custom Jen pinwheels!

Gluing , cutting, printing into

the midnight hours

knowing, I am certifiable now!

But its "a project of love"

I tell myself!

The reward comes on Thursday

afternoon, when the custom pinwheel

and 'timely arrived' suction cups,

are attached and stay attached on

a speeding canoe across the water,

Great grip,

so great that when I tried one

on my forehead

it left a 'suck mark', which I must say

was NOT such a great idea!

But Jen?

She looked beautiful spinning in the wind,

on the front of the canoe!

OTT friends says in review,

"couldn't you make any with the six points."

"Are you kidding me?"

What else should be done?

still got a couple hours...

Hmmm!

Should really honor her memory with

some pictures,

how about a story board

and maybe some posted copies

of her emails

from that avoided E mail file

I made, when she was diagnosed.

oh dear...cry, cry, cry!

It's Friday!

Just need to put

the pinwheels into the suction cups,

find a way to put pinwheels

on baseball hats

and may be make some pinwheel

Wild Wear Bobble Bands...and

Hmmm!

I really should say something before

the launch tomorrow,

a poem maybe,

yes, I should write a poem?

and may be some ginger bread cookies

that look like Jen?

And where is Fed Ex with those perfect

Hawaiian pinwheels?

P.S

OTT friend says I get the

OTT award for this one...

Yaay!

...I think!!

Pam Piper Rain

A Paddling Love Story

A Paddling Love Story

Have you ever had someone come into your life and leave you so altered you wanted to write a great novel about it, paddle oceans, perhaps sing a poem from a mountain top, dance on main street, or build a pinwheel garden just to tell the world "hey, because of this person, I am not the same!"?

Whatever we do in our lives, everyone hopes to leave something behind from their time on earth. One of the most significant things we can leave behind ...is our story...or stories. If you were loved and altered by someone's story, how their lives touched you...it is a story worth telling.

Cancer sucks! There really isn't anything else to say about it, but that. I hope you don't mind my telling this story...it involves magical friendships, courage, victories, loss, wisdom, and lessons learned. It is about celebration of life at its best and most temporary, and of course, paddles, bubbles and pinwheels.

Paddling came into my life five years ago by the arm twisting of a close friend. Since, I can't swim well and don't much like the water overall, being on a very narrow tippy boat on the lake (or especially the ocean) is NOT where I prefer to be! It wasn't right away, but over time the sport of paddling grew on me and I fell in love with the unlikely.

Soon after came the arrival of four other women who felt the same way (with a lot less arm twisting), all with strong personalities, yet very different, contributing to a team whose whole was more than the sum of it's parts. One of those women was Jennifer Andrews. The first time we met, I raved about the sport to her. And here was this woman, who told me how much she loved Hawaii, and who loved the water, but I thought she was way too glamorous to ever join us. Jen came out the next day and never left until she couldn't join us any longer...!

She became our best friend and confidante, hours on the phone, funny stories over wine, we were never without her support, compassion, and uncensored humor. One year she gave us all an Easter basket (she loved holidays) full of forgotten childhood wonders...a candy necklace (remember those?), pinwheels, and bottles of bubbles! It reminded us to play, enjoy, and believe in the moment!

The six of us did everything together, growing as friends, each contributed something to the group that made us all better. The friendship was intense, and seemingly exclusive, we couldn't help it...we were on "borrowed time". That camaraderie afforded us success in races, success we would have never dreamed possible. A novice team from the desert? Competing on the ocean? All over 45, two of which were grandmothers, winning medals? Nonsense! But we did. In our first race together, the canoe seemed to just glide with the magic of teamwork, and every race after that just got better. We were full of ourselves, reveling in the moments and the love that was "sixasone". And...we thought we had forever to continue the magic. We had no idea it would end so soon.

When Jennifer was diagnosed with stage four cancer, a year later, our worlds were rocked to the very core. We found ourselves in a different kind of race and everything changed. It was a long tough fight for her, in which she complained little and still laughed and bossed us around when she came out. Being the sass, sparkle, and spunk to any occasion, she kept us uplifted instead of the other way around. We sought to encourage her with themed gifts which, we left on her doorstep when she returned from her long trips to the hospital. One time it was a super hero stuff, with individual homemade capes, bubbles, another time, a pinwheel garden outside her window. There was even a flat cardboard version of her that went to every race in her absence, lovingly known among all the teams, as Flat Jen!

In 2008 she asked us to "pinky swear" that when she was done with Chemo, we would all do the Rig Run in Santa Barbara with her. It was the dream of doing that race that got her through two months of radiation treatments in the Chicago winter. That summer, on a perfect May day in Southern California, the six of us paddling together again, all of us believing in miracles, she was the happiest, strongest, ever and paddled 12 miles! We didn't win a medal but of course no one cared, our prize was so much more.

As hard as we prayed, paddled, and wished for a miracle for her, we never got one. That last January we went to help her take down her Christmas decorations, all together in one room," just like old sixasone times", she said smiling. The laughter was bittersweet, somehow we all knew it was over and it was... we never saw her again.

Now, I wear her silver paddle around my neck along with the words Kinipela which is Jennifer in Hawaiian...she is never far from me! I miss her more than I can say! There is so much more I would like to tell, so many stories of how she changed us, but that will require pages still to be written. But this is what I want to say most...Jennifer's death taught me to live...the only thing about cancer that is worthwhile.

Most of us have been touched by this disease, or know someone who has, and have to find peace with it in our own way. It is a journey for those who live and die with it and those of us who walk beside them. Who teaches who? Who inspires who? Who is the most courageous? We are all courageous who have been touched by cancer, but none more than those who fight it within their bodies every day!

Jennifer changed us, she made us better. But we were able to give her a gift as well...two years of adventures that felt like a lifetime to all of us. She did things she never dreamed of, and had five best friends to celebrate life with, and that knowledge makes us all smile whenever we think of her.

In her memory, I created an event called Paddles and Pinwheels, please join us on the water, wearing a purple shirt (her favorite color...or pink...or lavender, and place a pinwheel on your canoe to honor someone you love... someone whose story altered your life. Let's celebrate the temporary, celebrate the sunshine on the lake, smile and laugh, celebrate life...with paddles in the water and spinning pinwheels in the wind! Wheee whee!

Thanks You for listening! Pam