Wednesday, September 15, 2010

What was I Scared of?



Recently, I celebrated my 51 st birthday
with that came the usual ways to celebrate
bubbles, balloons, swinging, playing with
and calls from friends,
the lake and paddling,

And this book by Dr. Seuss,
a gift from my brother!
One I used to be terrified of!
I remember being at my cousins and
although it was a part
of a collection of Seuss's best.
I would flip past that section quickly
with avoidance and trepidation!
Its about an empty pair of
friendly glow in the dark green pants
that today would have been
considered to be stalking pants!

Yes, really I was afraid of a story about
pants with no one inside of them!

Being sacred of something anything
is a funny thing,
it might come out of nowhere
or worse its been there all along and
you just begin to notice it
and ponder its root system
or something makes you sweat
and you wonder,
whats this all about?

Being pretty clear
and open about my general fears
like water, snakes, being surprised,
things that swim underwater,
mean people
dancing and speaking in public,
approaching a table
of people I want to meet,
opening presents in public,
things that swim underwater,
did I say that already?
Christians, (sorry) Republicans (sorry, again)
javelinas,
(they are surprisingly intimidating)
...and the list goes on and on.

Then there are the deeper more psychic
unmentionables like
being alone, getting in trouble,
having someone mad at me, rejection,
losing my dog!

In the book the spooky pants starts to cry
because it's afraid as well!
And of course they
become friends in the end
and greet one
another then on, with friendly waves.
(Ah, that Dr was so smart and clever!)
Full of metaphors and humor!
I tried my first reading on my dog
who was quivering over
an impending thunderstorm
Not sure it helped,
or she even heard it
from under the bed.
But I was enchanted
by the one story,
I had always feared!
(besides the Cat in the Hat,
still working on that one tho,
and there's 'Where the
Wild Things Are' too, not a fan!)

Coming face to face with one of
my most challenging times and year
I came face to face with
all of my scary 'empty pants'
all at the same time!

One of my birthday calls
came from a dear friend
whose support was immeasurable
during this time
and she graciously took the time to list
the things I had done in the last year
despite the
gravity of my situation!

"You danced on Main street,
you created the Bobble Bands
and learned to hula hoop.
Taught poetry workshops
and donated two paintings
for thousands of dollars
and learned how to paddle board.
You got around the country
without being able to drive.
You turned the grief of losing
a friend into a celebration
of bubbles and fun.
And don't forget you created
Paddles and Pinwheels,
an event in her honor.
And you wrote over a hundred blogs
documenting it all.
Look at what you have done!"

And I sort of did!
Feeling humbled and touched!

I wish everyone a friend
(or two) like this,
one who sees where you need to go,
believed you would,
is there to applaud your arrival
and reminds you of what you did!
Just in case you forgot!

So what was I scared of?
Before this year, I would have
had to say LIFE in general!
Terrified of what I couldn't
control or handle!
But it's all really...
just a silly pair of empty pants
with no one inside of them
determined to follow me around
until I simply, said, "hello!"

To quote a credit card commercial...
"What's in your pants?"

oh wait, thats "wallet!"


Pam Piper Rain

For these gifts, cheers to Scott and Mary.