Out There

Again, in honor of April

being National Poetry Month

a poem that I found last April

and carried around

for awhile

as a "tailsman,"

I clutched its little poetic hand

with a sense of fake faith

and then let go

somewhere along the way...

forgetting where I put it.

Last week end it fell out

of a book I was researching

for an upcoming poetry workshop!

And I reread it and

low and behold...

the words were real!

The warmth dancing along my window sill.

A year later!

The wonder and power of poetry...

proven again!

Out There

Out there

you'll see it all.

The floating ends

will meet and mend,

and you will find yourself;

your fully formed,

though always changing,

self of selves.

Every clumsy backward look

will pay for itself.

Every tear you cried,

or wanted to cry,

will set your broken bones.

The rips in your heart

will no longer

need to be guarded

by steel girders,

banyan trees,

or even rice paper.

Not so much as a

dragonfly's wing

will you need

to cover the bludgeoned place,

to protect the private you

you love so much

and hope to save intact

from what has seemed years

of relentless pummeling.

Go and live and love

in peace, my friend,

for surely there is love

to enfold you,

and life to be feasted upon:

Love will be the more

you've wanted.

You will know it

when you see it.

You will love yourself

as no lover

has ever had the courage

to love;

and the warmth you've wanted

will line your pillowcases,

dance upon your windowsill,

and hide

at the ends of your socks...

awaiting your toes!

Deborah Mears

Photo by Ed Earley

Too much information?

Power shopping got a long list

of things to get

took me three weeks to get here

so its three weeks long

with a thousand things in my head

I am at the fabric table

all smiles over my find...

multi colored animal prints!!!!!

Really? Yes!

I recognize another 'odd something'

has happened to me

of late,

I am hooked on Project Runway,

and want to make my own clothes???

In my dreams there is

a sewing machine

that shows up nightly

teasing me,

taunting me with its bobbing needley parts

and magic making capabilities,

but for some reason

my friend, Alicia always sells it

before I can claim it...

(??? who knows)

This is only funny because

I am the last person

in the world that should sew

and never even liked it

(failed that part of Home Ec,

remember when they called it that?

I called it Home Ick..ha)

A sewing machine shouldn't

be near me or in my dreams

...but there it is!

Go figure!

Back to my fabric treasures...

to my left two women

peer curiously at my find

truly it looks like safari print

meets the Easter bunny

meets hippie gypsy!

They can't resist asking me...

"what are you making?"

I swear my head begins to spin

and I feel this sly smile

form as I launch into this monologue...

and literally can't stop.

"Well, I am making a holster

for my bubble wand..."

this is all it takes to make their faces go slack

"What?" they say in unison.

"Yes, bubble wands you can

buy them over there on aisle 15

for two dollars

they make great hostess gifts

or when a friend is having a bad day

and needs some bubble therapy

my late friend Jen gave me an Easter basket

with bubbles and now I celebrate her

and the temporary everywhere I go

I bubble wand in the snow and rain on the lake

and hopefully while hula hooping but

that's not going very well right now

anyways my friend Jodi made me a holster

for my bubble wand shes so cool she

wears a witch hat

all of October and well nevermind bout that

I really like the holster but I want to

make something simple and easy

cause I don't sew and really shouldn't

but if I did I would turn these into

some pants for my friend Sheila

cause she always

wears the strangest fabric

anyway back to the holsters

sometimes I think

the extra fabric makes

it looks like something

that belongs in the privacy

of your bedroom

cause the liquid part doesn't show and

no one knows what it really is

and they wonder and it's embarrassing at first

cause they don't know how to ask me...and..."

I notice they back away a little here...

but the fabric cutter lady starts grinning

catching the spirit of this oration

and says "You should sell them!"

"Oh, I am, its going to be in a kit called

Celebrate your Wild for turning 50 and 60

and stuff like that I have these

Wild Woman designs

little stick figures without faces

and there are

poems to go with them

and its going to have pinwheels,

candy necklaces in it and

Wild Wear Bobble Bands too."

They look completely bewildered now

like I am talking another language

...but they ARE still standing there

while my fabric lady cuts

my swatches so I continue on...

helplessly.

"Oh and I am having an Art show

at Studio Seven

where I learned to dance with the owner of it

whose a great instructor

especially cause I had

no business performing

or dancing kind of like sewing I suppose

but I did cause she wouldn't let me quit

and it changed my life and

now I am having a workshop there also

and maybe hoop dancing someday...

hmmm well... I think thats it here's my card

thanks for listening

gotta go buy more bubbles- Bye"

Off and running

I couldn't even look back

fearful of the expressions left in my wake

yikes...

I don't even think I took a breath

but hey, they asked...right?

....was this business networking

at its finest or

too much information...

maybe they will call

and just maybe

they will duck down

the nearest aisle

the next time they see me coming...

hmmm?

Pam Piper Rain

Any day on the Lake is...

It's a bright blue Saturday,

and a question I never had

is about to be answered,

can you paddle backwards,

crash into another boat and ...

and still win a race?

It is early in the desert

clear, calm, crisp even

tents go up, real estate claimed,

team banners hung,

Santa Fe hangs a strawberry?

Whoops, sorry, that's a chili!

paddles hang, woven into a line,

flashing in the sunlight

in polite silence waiting to

be used...!

Smiles of anticipation

familiar and abundant,

greetings among teammates

and competitors

infectious...

(this is Christmas morning

to paddlers.)

We are twenty five strong this year

from newbies to returnees,

the comaraderie solid

and sincere.

This 'paddle family,'

one to be proud of!

We show up with our usual crap

for a day at the beach,

some more than others,

my pile has less to do with paddling

and more about fun between races.

(the usual... hoops,

bobble bands, pinwheels and bubble wands

and my hand me down chair is even fun!)

The energy high and electric

for a day of paddles and playing.

Races of many divisions are assigned

novice, (newbies) Open, Co ed, 5k,

Senior masters, Masters and Golden

(50 and older)

which I and other long time paddlers

have finally earned the right to do...

(yaay, ...really!

this a great collection

of really cool strong women.)

Because of all the categories

the opportunity to race

many times is asked

and answered with resounding yes's...

Course this looks easy on paper...

then we get there and realize the only time

in between a race...

is the time it takes to walk

across the dock to get into

the next departing boat,

trying to catch our breath

and maybe...look for that missing lung

and then off the horn goes again!

We end up in so many races

that by the end of the day

when they hand out the medals

we look blankly

at one another and ask,

"was I in that race with you?"

Shrug!

Its a blur of a day with great stories

with water and competition

at its center.

The first race..

(and don't worry,

I won't write about all of them,

just the ones I remember)

is a Co-ed 5k, three miles,

I sit seat five

which I have discovered

is a pretty fun ride, going wild and fast

as opposed to the front

where I usually sit

with its seemingly

endless resistance and pull.

Out of the start

we are planing the water

immediately,

three guys and three gals,

seasoned paddlers and friends

its clear right away, its going

to be good... and gold!

There is the magic

in the momentum of gliding,

hitting and swinging together

and flying to the finish line.

Feeling that "effortlessness"

that was long ago promised,

when we first started paddling.

Our feet never touch

the ground the rest of the day.

The next two are sort of sad tales,

a crash on the turn

gets first time novices a DQ,

(and that's not short for Dairy Queen either.)

another team, while in obvious gold contention

stops at the flag instead of continuing on,

the steers person not realizing

there were two more turns to make...

oh so painful!

But she finds redemption in

a later race

a win, that someone in the line of high fives

calls "the best example of canoe racing

they had ever seen!"

Sitting seat one

for this one,

(so much more responsibility than seat five)

It is my job is to set a pace

everyone can follow

and stay with,

one I can hopefully keep consistent

the entire way.

We are bow to bow

with four other crafts

into our first turn,

a flawless twist around the flag

shoots us out in the lead

and we stay there

thru two more perfect turns.

There really is nothing else like

the hard earned open water

the 'hut hos' fading from behind,

the encouragement of

teammates in the wind,

the rhythm of six paddles like one

in and out...

sometimes the win is in

the feeling of paddling well!

But the turns are a challenge this year

so many crashes and near misses

always the same lane,

always the same boat,

number 202 begins to look like a battleship

with its chunks and scrapes and dents.

Got to be the flags,

they must be too close together?

Can't be us!

In the last race

our earlier co ed team

comes together for a shorter version

of the first!

Like horses headed to the stable

we are out in a modest lead

until the first flag takes us into

the tail end of another turning boat

CRASH, Bang, Rip?

seat five looks wounded

and the steersman's paddle

is sailing thru the air

(pretty sure there are

NOT extra points for this)

oh no, this is bad!

As a good will gesture we try to retrieve

the floating paddle

which requires paddling in reverse!

There is lots of yelling and confusion

no one is paddling in the same direction

"go back, no, go forward,

forget it...JUST PADDLE"

unable to retrieve the floating paddle

and certain everyone's okay,

we return to forward motion

now in last place

trying to shake off the drama!

The sheer determination takes us

past all the other boats

to surprisingly finish in the lead,

the shoreline is stunned,

WE are stunned.

We wait for the other boat to limp in

minus a paddle and

they are actually smiling

seat five just laughs and says

"its all good, when we have a day on the lake"

now that's Ohana!

But we earn the name

of "Havasu Paddle rammers."

When my own arm is twisted later

into steering a "fun race"

I am appreciative of the skill

it requires,

and although I did not hit anyone,

I did take in two flags instead of the one

turning 40 feet of 400 pounds of boat

not an easy task!

And not alot of fun!

Leaving the beach,

Heavy with medals,

the fun factory at overload

the recounting of events get bigger

and more entertaining as the evening

goes...

did we really paddle backwards?

Knock a paddle out of someones hand,

finish a race too early

and win so many?

Seems so!

The magic is back

and it begins with a paddle in hand!

Pam Piper Rain

photo by Ed Earley