It's been almost a year
since I have typed a single word on this page.
Having circled it again and again,
unable to even read my former posts.
Wishing tho, I had completed part two,
of 'The School Of Seuss',
(it contained some pretty witty stuff.)
Because this time last year,
a different life was in motion.
Dreams realized and beginning,
creatively on fire, every door
in my house, papered to capture the flow,
great fame and fortune attracted and promised.
And one point, I knew had it all,
even said it outloud
I was being paid to illustrate a children's book,
And? I was in love!
Life couldn't have been any richer.
But what followed was a year of great grief and
occurrences that broke me in ways
I have never known or could have anticipated.
Creativity had always been my souls language,
the written word the air I breathe,
constant and without cease, the flow endless.
Even as a kid with band aid covered knees,
to the insecure teenager with a blemished face,
the natural desire to write in prose,
guided me through any dark night
that threatened to yank me
from my spiritual self.
It was the Voice that called my name,
infused me with wisdom and purpose.
My trust in it was without question...
my relationship consistent and loyal,
I had never known a time without it,
But this ability suddenly left me.
With the arrival of an email,
one day last May.
An email that cancelled out nine months of labor,
a contracted storybook of rhymes.
Suddenly, the pink poetic rabbit gone,
the book unfinished, contract breached,
a public promotional campaign
ceased embarrassingly and without conclusion
and the unresolved absence
of the one 'someone' loved.
All whipped away at once,
in a dark gray summer wind.
With them, went all my words as well.
A kind of debilitating fever
of anxiety prevailed.
And I was financially, emotionally, spiritually
and creatively bankrupt.
That was six months ago,
I am less so.
Journeys' have surprises, twists and turns
we don't even see coming.
The loss of one thing becomes the birth of another,
and as human spirits we learn to begin
and begin and begin.
We trust and trust some more,
despite the contradicting evidence.
Cause that one path traveled may morph into a
a yellow brick road that has a destination
you never considered exploring,
a place you can't remember even wanting to go,
complete with little 'munchins' to lead the way
and a band of fellow travelers
to cheer you along.
Don't get me wrong,
I haven't exactly found my way to OZ
or back home yet....
but this is a beginning and I need to begin.
So why not here?
Cause I have a story to tell
and in the past?
My words couldn't resist being apart
of a good story!
Granted, it doesn't feel like the "old" magic
has returned yet,
the words still stiff and formal from their slumber
but we are getting reacquainted again
and trying to figure out WHO,
really, abandoned who?
Pam Reinke -Piper Rain
Thursday, February 16, 2012
I don't know if you heard yet....
but I am writing a book!
And like all authors,
I know I must do some ground work,
But because it is a children's book,
my research will be different and
I'll begin with.... of course, the master.
My long time
rhyme writing mentor, Thedore Giesel,
known as Dr. Seuss.
Fortunately, for me,
I don't have to cross any continents
(or maybe unfortunately,
I'd like to have
the same excuse Elizabeth Gilbert did
with Eat, Pray, Love.
And go to Bali
and live with MY spiritual mentor
Sigh, what I NEED is right here.
In my own office/studio~house.
Because within these four walls
is everything Seuss.
Either collected or given as gifts over the years,
all versions of my favorite books,
some copies containing all of them,
which could be considered
the encyclopedia of Seuss
Who has those anymore?
An old fashioned word for
...um... Google, I think)
One red striped office wall
'Cat in the Hat' like,
two custom designed converse shoes
and my own Cat in the Hat~ hat
(okay, time to abbreviate that)
and even an old CITH doll.
All which is rather strange because as
(in a former blog)
The Cat in The Hat?
Has always been my least favorite character
of all of them.
(Had to do with the fear
of never wanting to get in trouble as a kid.)
But I have since resolved that
and embraced my 'Inner Hat Cat!'
Which NOW, means taking chances,
AND not listening to 'the fish in the pot'.
Who will always tell you, "you better not,
be careful, don't do it".
You know 'the fish' who are afraid to have fun
and if you actually do? Best not to tell anyone!
So my research involves this:
Looking through the books again and again,
the drawings of imaginative animals,
the wild perspective of odd shaped,
while listening to various celebrities
read the stories out loud on I Tunes.
(BTW My favorite is the rendition of
The Grinch read by scary man
Course this then becomes very intimidating
because there is no way I will ever
capture his rhythm
and should I even try to?
I mean ripping off Dr. Seuss,
just seems wrong,
kind of like trying to copy
And Dr Seuss's drawings?
Although, lacking in the vivid
color department for me
(maybe the print palette back then
just had less colors?)
I just love their wild outrageousness.
Spanning whole pages after whole pages.
Inviting the imagination to participate
full throttle and at any age.
But soon I begin to wonder
what am I really doing?
Sitting here with my CITH coffee cup,
trying to channel and copy Dr Seuss.
When does inspiration become
more like intimidation,
and a poor replica
of someone's masterpiece?
BUT still what if there was a school
I could go to....
you know like....ahhhhhh, YES,
The School Seuss!
Of course the address
would be 123 Mulberry Street
and there would be.....
Pam Piper Rain
Pam Piper Rain