A Misadventure in Going Green

Being its a lovely January day

decide to go green...

just my bike, a back pack and sunshine

just six places to go...easy,

its a small town after all,

a small town built on a hill

with straight downs...whee!!!

And then straight Ups

not just a slight incline

but a real challenge.

But its green and its exercise,

I tell myself!

it becomes a game,

which is typical...

a race against the clock

how fast can this be accomplished

one hour, two?

On your mark, get set... go!!

Its smooth sailing by the time I reach

my last stop, K mart, it's only been an hour

Confident it can still be done under two,

Happily, tell the clerk, "no bag"

have my "going green back pack,"

I say cheerily...

and confidently, heavy things are purchased

because, I also just bought

a "going green bike basket"

I AM...good to go...!

In the parking lot,

I discovered my new

"going green bike basket"

requires on screw driver

and an Alan wrench

to attach it to the handle bars.

...hmmmm!

This is NOT so good!

Wait, I will tie it to my handle bars with....

ummm...what?

...my shoe laces, good

yes, that will work...aren't I clever?

hmmm...makes that shoe kind

of loose and floppy but...

So heavy things will go into the backpack,

no problem...

oh look, the zipper came undone,

not just the 'sure thing zipper

and but the "just in case" zipper also,

now I have a flapping, droopy,

unzippering collection of material

trying to unsuccessfully hold

a bunch of heavy things

and it's NOT going to...!

CRAP!!!

I wish I had a plastic bag!

Starting to feel a little undone,

and unzipped...as well,

with traffic everywhere

it is a long-walk-semi-ride home uphill!

cell phone left behind...

kind of want to cry now,

knowing it will be funny later...

then I remember

a friend telling me,

"If its funny later, it's funny now!"

Okay, this might be kind of funny!

Thinking I might look a little homeless

with all this stuff and not put together well,

a baseball hat comes in handy

to be incognito...

but since it has my name on it in big letters

probably, not so much!

I start to flap shuffle my way uphill,

discovering I can ride a little

IF I clutch the heavy back pack

closed with one hand...

that is until the shoe lace

stretches out too much

and the basket begins

to rub on the front tire,

creating a brake affect

everything becomes a melody

of flap..scrape..shuffle

and grind...

Walking now and slowly,

then leaning down for some reason,

and my neck bandanna

catches on the handlebar

yikes ...choking...falling...

dropping the bike

and there I am a tangled mess

of bike and basket,

(my stupid) "going green

unzipping backpack", carpet cleaner,

boat stabilizer, audio books, hair spray

and other various personal products,

right there all tumbled

and sprawling

on main street

and somewhere in all this

I decide the shorts I am wearing

are really unflattering

and... Yes, I have a hat with my name on it.

...GREAT!

Three hours later

with scrapes and scratches,

smudged in bike grease,

a numb left arm, a bike basket

rubbed 'unblack' on the bottom,

my lace less shoe left at the end

of the driveway

and I am thinking...from now on?

...screw green!

Pam Piper Rain