To Begin Again

It's been almost a year
since I have typed a single word on this page.
Having circled it again and again,
unable to even read my former posts.
Wishing tho, I had completed part two,
of 'The School Of Seuss',
(it contained some pretty witty stuff.)

Because this time last year,
a different life was in motion.
Dreams realized and beginning,
creatively on fire, every door 
in my house, papered to capture the flow,
great fame and fortune attracted and promised.
And one point, I knew had it all,
even said it outloud
I was being paid to illustrate a children's book,
And? I was in love!
Life couldn't have been any richer.

But what followed was a year of great grief and
occurrences that broke me in ways
I have never known or could have anticipated.

Creativity had always been my souls language,
the written word the air I breathe,
constant and without cease, the flow endless.
Even as a kid with band aid covered knees,
to the insecure teenager with a blemished face,
the natural desire to write in prose,
guided me through any dark night
that threatened to yank me
from my spiritual self.
It was the Voice that called my name,
infused me with wisdom and purpose.
My trust in it was without question...
my relationship consistent and loyal,
 I had never known a time without it,
...ever!

But this ability suddenly left me.
With the arrival of an email, 
one day last May.
An email that cancelled out nine months of labor,
a contracted storybook of rhymes.
Suddenly, the pink poetic rabbit gone,
the book unfinished, contract breached,
a public promotional campaign
ceased embarrassingly and without conclusion
and the unresolved absence 
of the one 'someone' loved.
All whipped away at once,
in a dark gray summer wind.
With them, went all my words as well.
A kind of debilitating fever
of anxiety prevailed.
And I was financially, emotionally, spiritually
and creatively bankrupt.

That was six months ago,
I am less so.

Journeys' have surprises, twists and turns
we don't even see coming.
The loss of one thing becomes the birth of another,
and as human spirits we learn to begin
and begin and begin.
We trust and trust some more,
despite the contradicting evidence.
Cause that one path traveled may morph into a
a yellow brick road that has a destination
you never considered exploring,
a place you can't remember even wanting to go,
complete with little 'munchins' to lead the way
and a band of fellow travelers
to cheer you along.

Don't get me wrong,
I haven't exactly found my way to OZ
or back home yet....
but this is a beginning and I need to begin.
So why not here?
Cause I have a story to tell
and in the past?
My words couldn't resist being apart
 of a good story!

Granted, it doesn't feel like the "old" magic 
has returned yet,
the words still stiff and formal from their slumber
but we are getting reacquainted again
and trying to figure out WHO,
really, abandoned who?

Pam Reinke -Piper Rain

Research or The School Of Seuss?

I don't know if you heard yet....

but I am writing a book!

And like all authors,

I know I must do some ground work,

some research.

But because it is a children's book,

my research will be different and

I'll begin with.... of course, the master.

My long time

rhyme writing mentor, Thedore Giesel,

known as Dr. Seuss.

Fortunately, for me,

I don't have to cross any continents

(or maybe unfortunately,

I'd like to have

the same excuse Elizabeth Gilbert did

with Eat, Pray, Love.

And go to Bali

and live with MY spiritual mentor

but...)

Sigh, what I NEED is right here.

In my own office/studio~house.

Because within these four walls

is everything Seuss.

Either collected or given as gifts over the years,

all versions of my favorite books,

some copies containing all of them,

which could be considered

the encyclopedia of Seuss

(Encyclopedia?

Who has those anymore?

An old fashioned word for

...um... Google, I think)

One red striped office wall

'Cat in the Hat' like,

two custom designed converse shoes

and my own Cat in the Hat~ hat

(okay, time to abbreviate that)

and even an old CITH doll.

All which is rather strange because as

previously stated

(in a former blog)

THAT character,

The Cat in The Hat?

Has always been my least favorite character

of all of them.

(Had to do with the fear

of never wanting to get in trouble as a kid.)

But I have since resolved that

and embraced my 'Inner Hat Cat!'

Which NOW, means taking chances,

making messes,

AND not listening to 'the fish in the pot'.

Who will always tell you, "you better not,

be careful, don't do it".

You know 'the fish' who are afraid to have fun

and if you actually do? Best not to tell anyone!

So my research involves this:

Looking through the books again and again,

the drawings of imaginative animals,

the wild perspective of odd shaped,

fantastical buildings,

while listening to various celebrities

read the stories out loud on I Tunes.

(BTW My favorite is the rendition of

The Grinch read by scary man

Christopher Walken...yikes!)

Course this then becomes very intimidating

because there is no way I will ever

capture his rhythm

and should I even try to?

I mean ripping off Dr. Seuss,

just seems wrong,

kind of like trying to copy

Michelangelo.

And Dr Seuss's drawings?

Although, lacking in the vivid

color department for me

(maybe the print palette back then

just had less colors?)

I just love their wild outrageousness.

Spanning whole pages after whole pages.

Inviting the imagination to participate

full throttle and at any age.

But soon I begin to wonder

what am I really doing?

Sitting here with my CITH coffee cup,

trying to channel and copy Dr Seuss.

When does inspiration become

more like intimidation,

and a poor replica

of someone's masterpiece?

BUT still what if there was a school

I could go to....

you know like....ahhhhhh, YES,

The School Seuss!

Hmmmm.

Of course the address

would be 123 Mulberry Street

and there would be.....

(More tomorrow!)

Pam Piper Rain