Bumps and Rain

Its starts with a seed

an inspiration,

and I believe it comes to more

than one person at a time,

whose ready, whose paying attention?

Whose going to run with it?

I love what the poet Ruth Stone said

about this,

"as a child in the fields of Virginia,

she could feel and hear

a poem coming at her

from over the landscape,

like this thunderous

train of air, she had one thing to do

and that was run like hell

to the house to get

that poem down on paper,

if she missed it,

it would continue on in search...

of another poet."

Having thought the same thing

since I was a child...

I had never heard it put like that!

My idea, was called Paddles and Pinwheels!

A playful (always ten)

way to not grieve but celebrate the life

of my very feisty, funny, sassy, sparkly

and missing friend Jennifer Andrews.

Who loved paddling, Easter baskets

of pinwheels, bubbles and candy necklaces.

After she left I was challenged with

the question...

how was I going to live?

Not just live but really LIVE?

That exploration turned into

a life's philosophy,

and I felt required to share it.

This would be the second annual event

of Paddles and Pinwheels

and it would bring

paddlers together,

all paddlers, for a playful event

that required a pinwheel

on all the water crafts

and a parade of 'wheees' on the lake.

Jennifer's favorite saying...

(Yes, we were 'wheeing' long before

Maxwell from the Gieco

commercial showed up!)

And a pinwheel garden of dedication!

Where a pinwheel could be tagged for

the celebration of someone/anyone loved!

So we get an inspiration,

which is fun and exhilarating...

its the buzz in the belly

that keeps you awake at night,

that universal magnet

that tugs and pulls and won't let go!

That one thought that won't leave you alone!

Yaay ...then what?

Follow Through!

The keep on, keeping on part

the research, the purchases

(like the suction cups I had to buy

that only came in a box

of three hundred and fifty!

Good grief...really?)

The social networking required,

(that some might say 'enough already'

with P nP!)

Then come the mornings

where the first thought is

Holy Crap! What was I thinking?

I can't do this,

I don't have time or the resources!

Yikes...

Then the spirit

of my very bossy friend, Jennifer

would come through,

not softly or subtly

but loud and clear.

"Come on girlfriend,

just get on your big girl panties

and do it."

So I did!

But not without a lot

of bumps... and rain!

The night before the "first" scheduled

Paddles and Pinwheels.

Fifteen wonderful people gathered to

assemble and tag almost 200 pinwheels.

The living room was covered

with blue, pink, and green twirly whirls.

After everyone left I sat with

my biggest supporter of the event, Mary Lou!

(She fielded a lot of panicked text messages)

As we gazed at the bouquet of pinwheels

on garden sticks she says very profoundly,

"everyone should be loved this much."

Yes, indeed!

The next morning woke up

to pouring rain...

so bummed...had to cancel that day

and the following weekend of more rain.

Evidently, I didn't get to choose

the date for this...

But March 5th was the gift

of the perfect windless calm water day

I had pictured all along.

So humbled to have forty

some paddlers show up,

grateful to my Outrigger club for all the help

and support for this silly adventure

(that requires some work and time on their part)

and to everyone who made

a donation to the Hospice!

(we also made 150. in donations)

This is part of what I said

after Jens story and 'thank you's,'

Cancer sucks! Not much more to be said

about it than that.

We have all been wounded by it

and grieved loved ones!

But if we learn to live better

because of it...

Cancer has some value! SOME!

And those who have crossed over

having fought that great fight,

have given us the invaluable gift

of their lives...

as a reminder to always

celebrate these temporary moments

with wonder and grace.

Jennifer's wish and mine would be,

to see this one precious and wild Life of yours

as a ride, an adventure,

live a BIG life

and as often as possible find

the moments that require

an impulsive uncontainable WHEEE

from start to finish,

seek the kind of laughter

that makes you stop breathing

and cross your legs just in case...

take uncensored chances,

dance on main street if you

get asked and even if you don’t,

create stories worth telling,

believe love never really leaves,

find friends you’d cross an ocean for

and hold on to miracles

and magic with an infallible faith

that never ceases to amaze!

Cause what if this IS

all we really have...this moment!

Ask yourselves will you embrace it

with a woe or a whee?

So it was a beautiful day

with hula hoops, bubbles,

lots of smiling, bright, happy people

who love a paddle in hand,

sharing stories

and a moment of beauty on the water

remembering to celebrate the temporary!

The best moment came

when a large flock of ducks/Coots

were interrupted by our parade

noisily scattering to get out of our way,

as paddles and pinwheels and 'whees'

invaded their space!

Don't think the ducks felt

very 'whee" about it!

Next year, I hope it catches on

and gets bigger

We still have pinwheels and suction cups left

and the work is mostly done

so my 'Holy CRAP' moments

will be fewer.

But what I really hope

is this idea is in the wind,

and coming across the landscape

on a thunder of air

for someone else to catch

in their net of thoughts

and pinwheels begin

to show up everywhere!

And the celebration begins!

Pam Piper Rain

Photos by Tina Benson

And the Winner is.....

I love movies...love love them!

The lights dim and

I settle into the big backed chair

breathing in the anticipated ride

the ride?

The ride of superb storytelling!

Cause my reason for going

to movies is not to be entertained...

if that was the case I would have

never seen Million Dollar Baby

or Titanic, Schindler's List,

Monsters Ball or Silence of the Lambs

(which I watched admittedly from the hallway.)

I go for the craft of storytelling

its research. I pay close attention

to the wonderment of how the story is told.

And the Oscars for me is the prize,

the ball...

the event that celebrates that storytelling.

And every January I am on a missions to

watch every film nominated for Best Picture!

Friends and girlfriends start to appear

very busy and won't answer their phones

because they know Operation Oscars is in motion!

And they will be talked in to being

a part of that mission!

And tho I don't mind seeing movies alone

so much more fun to dissect them

at length with a companion!

Its is a daunting task I must say.

When they went to ten best pictures

over the former eight,

it became a full time job.

One I am paid for in only

pure indulgent joy!

And for the first time

EVER I saw all of them..

Yaay! Truly a silly feat to be proud of!

And ...most of my friends are still talking

to me even...

which was sort of touch and go over

127 Hours

when my friend M Lou kept

swearing at me under her breath

as Aaron begins to saw off his arm

to save his life....

Tho I really don't have time to do this

and the sun is out

for the first time in three days,

I will ignore the lake calling my name and

write this short review.

(Cause I do not think I can do this

again...I may actually

have a life next year...ha!}

The Fighter

This was my first movie for Operation Oscar

and maybe my favorite.

Mostly, for the colorful characters!

Amy Adams is at her feisty, sexy best!

The mother, Melissa Leo

is without argument

Best Supporting actress.

And if they could give those seven ugly

couch sisters an award

for their hairdo's alone. Ha!

I wanted more of them!

Without too much slow motion

flinging, spurting, sweat and blood,

as most fighting movies have,

they nail the inspirational part!

Black Swan

Artsy and avant-garde which I love.

What's real, what's not? It's a terrifying ride

thru the brutal world of ballet!

Natalie Portman should get Best Actress.

to quote a friend, "she made me

so uncomfortable."

"When an actor can do that you can't

take you eyes from them."

Tho the skin references

rough going personally,

the moment she turns into the

Black Swan feather by feather...

is worth the journey!

Kids Are All Right

At first I was excited a lesbian film

was a mainstream nomination.

Until I saw it... although intriguing

and Annette Bening and Julianne Moore

made adorable lesbians

I was bothered by the seduction of Mark Ruffulos'

character...found the whole story annoying

and wouldn't agree that it is Oscar worthy!

True Grit

Wasn't on my list at all to see!

Never saw the first one and

when the Golden Globes snubbed it

I was hoping the Oscars would too

but they didn't.

In true Coen Brother's style it

was extreme and grim.

Tho new comer Hailee Stienfield

was a wonder to watch...

Jeff Bridges hard to understand

with the marbles he seemed to

have in his mouth!

And the ending dreary dreary! UGH!

( M Lou was mad at me for this one as well)

Winters Bone

Super Ugh... just shoot me now...

a young girl has to kill squirrels and beg for help

in the Ozarks cause her family and neighbors

are horrible and mean and crack users!

And then she has to saw off the arm of her

murdered father who is anchored in a river

to prove he is dead.

Again, Best picture??? really?

Social Network

Hmm? Liked it, thought Jesse Elsenberg

believable and brilliant

and a movie about computer communication?

Wouldn't have worked without the screen play by

Aaron Sorkin.

Wins for the writing!

But I wasn't as moved by it as I wanted to be...

and feel like I missed something?

Did I?

Toy Story 3

As an illustrator no one is a bigger fan

of the rise of animation as an Art Form

and Pixar would be have been my destination

if I was younger.

Its incredible that a cartoon (so to speak)

can be in Best picture category

I don't think its a candidate but

a thoughtful and clever story...

will never look at old toys the same way.

Inception

Loved this concept very thought provoking

a little confusing which made watching it at home

a good choice...!

What? Replay....zzzzzzz okay

that makes sense...the special affects,

a hands down winner!

Kings Speech

Saw this one alone and wish I hadn't...

it was a wonderful piece of history

and superbly acted.

I am predicting a sweep for them

including Best Actor for Colin Firth!

127 Hours

Tho I left it for last

and treated it like something I

HAD to do like a smelly job!

(Not fan of blood or limb severing.)

I was so won over by

the story telling quality

and the editing was

amazing, for a tale that happens all in

one location, a claustrophobic cavern!

Metaphorically stunning!

The only movie that moved me to tears!

On my list of

"Only Watch Once But worth It Movies"

The Town

Tho not nominated I think it should have been.

A worth while watch!

Actor, writer, director, Ben Affleck

creates a action packed well

told story in this movie!

There I did it

saw all of them

and wrote a blog about it

and the winner is???? Me!

Yaay...now that's done

and my Happy Oscar Day messages sent

to my 'rolling their eyes at me' friends

have to fill out my ballot

(one for who will win

and one for who I want to win)

and then get out my cocktail dress

for the feigned red carpet...!

If you are an Oscar nut like me

...enjoy!

Pam Piper rain

A Paddling Love Story

A Paddling Love Story

Have you ever had someone come into your life and leave you so altered you wanted to write a great novel about it, paddle oceans, perhaps sing a poem from a mountain top, dance on main street, or build a pinwheel garden just to tell the world "hey, because of this person, I am not the same!"?

Whatever we do in our lives, everyone hopes to leave something behind from their time on earth. One of the most significant things we can leave behind ...is our story...or stories. If you were loved and altered by someone's story, how their lives touched you...it is a story worth telling.

Cancer sucks! There really isn't anything else to say about it, but that. I hope you don't mind my telling this story...it involves magical friendships, courage, victories, loss, wisdom, and lessons learned. It is about celebration of life at its best and most temporary, and of course, paddles, bubbles and pinwheels.

Paddling came into my life five years ago by the arm twisting of a close friend. Since, I can't swim well and don't much like the water overall, being on a very narrow tippy boat on the lake (or especially the ocean) is NOT where I prefer to be! It wasn't right away, but over time the sport of paddling grew on me and I fell in love with the unlikely.

Soon after came the arrival of four other women who felt the same way (with a lot less arm twisting), all with strong personalities, yet very different, contributing to a team whose whole was more than the sum of it's parts. One of those women was Jennifer Andrews. The first time we met, I raved about the sport to her. And here was this woman, who told me how much she loved Hawaii, and who loved the water, but I thought she was way too glamorous to ever join us. Jen came out the next day and never left until she couldn't join us any longer...!

She became our best friend and confidante, hours on the phone, funny stories over wine, we were never without her support, compassion, and uncensored humor. One year she gave us all an Easter basket (she loved holidays) full of forgotten childhood wonders...a candy necklace (remember those?), pinwheels, and bottles of bubbles! It reminded us to play, enjoy, and believe in the moment!

The six of us did everything together, growing as friends, each contributed something to the group that made us all better. The friendship was intense, and seemingly exclusive, we couldn't help it...we were on "borrowed time". That camaraderie afforded us success in races, success we would have never dreamed possible. A novice team from the desert? Competing on the ocean? All over 45, two of which were grandmothers, winning medals? Nonsense! But we did. In our first race together, the canoe seemed to just glide with the magic of teamwork, and every race after that just got better. We were full of ourselves, reveling in the moments and the love that was "sixasone". And...we thought we had forever to continue the magic. We had no idea it would end so soon.

When Jennifer was diagnosed with stage four cancer, a year later, our worlds were rocked to the very core. We found ourselves in a different kind of race and everything changed. It was a long tough fight for her, in which she complained little and still laughed and bossed us around when she came out. Being the sass, sparkle, and spunk to any occasion, she kept us uplifted instead of the other way around. We sought to encourage her with themed gifts which, we left on her doorstep when she returned from her long trips to the hospital. One time it was a super hero stuff, with individual homemade capes, bubbles, another time, a pinwheel garden outside her window. There was even a flat cardboard version of her that went to every race in her absence, lovingly known among all the teams, as Flat Jen!

In 2008 she asked us to "pinky swear" that when she was done with Chemo, we would all do the Rig Run in Santa Barbara with her. It was the dream of doing that race that got her through two months of radiation treatments in the Chicago winter. That summer, on a perfect May day in Southern California, the six of us paddling together again, all of us believing in miracles, she was the happiest, strongest, ever and paddled 12 miles! We didn't win a medal but of course no one cared, our prize was so much more.

As hard as we prayed, paddled, and wished for a miracle for her, we never got one. That last January we went to help her take down her Christmas decorations, all together in one room," just like old sixasone times", she said smiling. The laughter was bittersweet, somehow we all knew it was over and it was... we never saw her again.

Now, I wear her silver paddle around my neck along with the words Kinipela which is Jennifer in Hawaiian...she is never far from me! I miss her more than I can say! There is so much more I would like to tell, so many stories of how she changed us, but that will require pages still to be written. But this is what I want to say most...Jennifer's death taught me to live...the only thing about cancer that is worthwhile.

Most of us have been touched by this disease, or know someone who has, and have to find peace with it in our own way. It is a journey for those who live and die with it and those of us who walk beside them. Who teaches who? Who inspires who? Who is the most courageous? We are all courageous who have been touched by cancer, but none more than those who fight it within their bodies every day!

Jennifer changed us, she made us better. But we were able to give her a gift as well...two years of adventures that felt like a lifetime to all of us. She did things she never dreamed of, and had five best friends to celebrate life with, and that knowledge makes us all smile whenever we think of her.

In her memory, I created an event called Paddles and Pinwheels, please join us on the water, wearing a purple shirt (her favorite color...or pink...or lavender, and place a pinwheel on your canoe to honor someone you love... someone whose story altered your life. Let's celebrate the temporary, celebrate the sunshine on the lake, smile and laugh, celebrate life...with paddles in the water and spinning pinwheels in the wind! Wheee whee!

Thanks You for listening! Pam

What If?

What if

a note hanging in a tree

could change your life?

No really,

a little piece of random magic tied

to string bearing the words you

needed at that exact moment in time?

What if?

Would have not believed it myself

but two years later I see

the tendrils affects across my life,

of the Mabel Luhan Lodge note

I found in a tree in Taos.

To find myself saying shortly there after,

what if I CAN dance and did dance

and it was fun?

In which I joined friends

for the performance

of Thriller that fall and

everything transformed.

And took off on a rocket ride

of energy and wonder!

I began to look at everything

I had said 'no' to, 'couldn't, wouldn't

...nope not gonna try even!!!'

And wondered what if I saw this differently?

A large fan of words (obviously)

and affirmation cards,

I had been feeling the desire

for my own idea of wildly whimsical

cards forming

and the creative wheels starting to spin.

But for me I have learned

to trust the process

that the direction, the time, the design

will be revealed when it is right!

Good thing cause I had not a clue

how to begin

and although I have 200 plus poems

about the subject of life and growth

and becoming and believing

and blah blah blah...

they seemed too tired

and stiff for this project!

Or maybe I was! hmm?

Walking up to my rather large takes up

too much room

to park show truck and trailer unit

this fall in Tucson

I found a note on my wind shield wiper.

Never a good thing right?

Especially at an event where

city codes for parking

are impossible to understand

and in constant change!

"Okay," I thought, "this can't be good."

as I pulled it from my window and read it!

But it wasn't a bad note

rather a polite friendly

one saying they had boxed me in

and would move when I needed them to.

Hmm, what if a note on a

windshield was a NICE one,

something you wanted to read

and creating an energy shift

for just a moment

and if nothing else... a responsive grin?

That weekend,

I was have a "mopey popey" time.

Poor sales, too much uninteresting time

spent in a ten by ten space...

I wrote or lets say my pen

started to write line after line

starting with

What if, 'when pigs fly was today?' Look out!

This one made me laugh and on it went

until I had 57 of them numbered and

suddenly I was not glum anymore either.

I was actually feeling amazingly different!

What if indeed!

Naturally, I couldn't resist the temptation

to share some of these witty inspirations,

I wrote them on corners of notebook paper

and around the local neighborhood

I left them on cars.

No name, no website, just a random gift.

Not a fan of the Holidays,

the dread increasing as it grew closer,

I kept thinking of how I can change this?

Couldn't afford to adopt a family

and always do Toys for Tots and the food bank...

but something different was in order!

Something creative, clever and inexpensive.

What if notes in trees created

a difference somehow, some way.

Could it? Well I was certain it would for me but

that wasn't the total point.

So a week before Christmas I began

a What if Wishes Campaign!

Developing a design I sort of liked..

but after dispersing ten

handwritten ones in parks

and parking lots...

it was too much and I had to go to print!

The key was not to get caught or look back

or even return to see if they were still there,

AND not to expect any results!

Oh and not to tell my friends what I was up to...

but that didn't last very long,

I was too excited!

So twenty some notes

have been hung or placed!

I don't know if any of them

rocked anyones world but

doing this for me changed

the season into one

of magic and creative random

playful hope!

Although, I am certain, I was the subject for

some cursing the day we had the big storm

and the many people

from the Walmart parking lot

were not happy to see

a note flapping back and forth

with the wipers and rain!

Whoops!

The campaign is still in full gear!

I carry them in my car all the time now

and whenever it feels right, I leave one!

I suppose some will think its a nuisance

or ridiculous notion that

a mere note could offer

any valuable random insight.

But what if one note created

a ripple affect of change.

Why not try, I think!

And as a story teller and story collector

I hope to hear ONE of those story's someday.

So I added a cryptic signature of Piperain,

in the rare chance someone

WANTS to find me and report back!

What if it's YOU!

Pam Piper Rain