Happy Birthday Letter

We lose people we love,

a take for granted fact of life,

we grieve and hopefully,

learn to live better

because of it...

In honor of my best friend's Jennifers birthday

I am wearing my candy necklace,

adding pinwheels to my garden

and reposting this letter

from February 2009.

Dear Jennifer,

I started this journey with you

promising myself

to trust and believe in miracles

to raise you up

and make you most important

someone in my life!

To hold on to the most insignificant

moments like shiney silver treasures,

to be strong and the most

necessary kind of friend,

a guarantee there

would be no doubt you were

absolutely loved!

Yet, I write this knowing you

won’t ever see it...

and I am weighted with wishes

I didn’t even know I would have

such a surprise collection

of raw regrets

I had tried to avoid...and didn't

so I say this...

Dear Jennifer,

I wish I would have kissed

your face more

and held your hands in random affection

I wish I had a 100 things

with your handwriting on it,

I wish the obvious like

finishing the cancer coloring book

and that you could have seen

Dashing Deliah in print.

I wish when you asked me

to tell you what I wanted of yours,

I would have boldly handed you a list...

ONLY, so you would have been touched by the

silly things I valued as parts of you!

I wish I had hours of you recorded

telling me what you wanted and

dreamed of and were afraid of.

I wish every time we had talked

I would have been courageous

enough to ask

“what frightens you today?”

or tell me something important...!

I wish I would have stayed

with you in Chicago that winter,

when you were so lonely and scared.

I wish I didn’t think it was enough

just to take your calls at any hour or

make you a CD of songs

so you would stop

watching the DVD

or that sending you a warm jacket

could remotely make up

for my not being there!

I wish I would have payed attention

more to the moments and the days,

slipping away.

I wish I could have heard

what you were telling me

when you said you didn’t

want a calendar this year.

To have seen it more fleeting

and in a brave way

than the “optimistically denial” way.

I wish, I didn’t think you would

beat this and there’d always

be more time, another day

another phone call, another race.

I wish I hadn’t made so many excuses

for not stopping by

and just pushed past them,

(maybe even knocking him down

in the process.)

I wish when you called that last saturday

I would have kept you talking

as long as you could,

and had known

how important that was.

I wish I had remembered

your chenile robe request earlier and said

I am coming even tho you said don’t.

Wish I had known the last time

I hugged you was the 'last time'

...but we never really do do we?

What I don’t have to wish for

is more pictures of you,

gratefully, we have thousands.

Don’t need to wish I had a

handwritten card that

said you loved me

I have that,

or some symbol of you I can wear

I have that as well.

I don’t have to wish for more memories

because three years of

your friendship gave that.

I don’t have to wish I said

I love you more, cause I did...

every chance I got.

Don’t have to wish

I knew how you felt about life and stuff

cause I do I really do!

Or that you were

surrounded by love and laughter

because you were, beyond so!

I don’t have to wish I knew

someone like you...

cause I did.

Dear Jennifer,

I wish you could have stayed longer

and paddled more oceans of turtles with us

and drank a vineyard of wine

(tho we came close)

and lie awake all night, giggling

until we couldn’t breathe

and nothing else matters

but that moment

of such hialrious joy

we were unable to name it

or remember it the next day.

Jen, you were my boat and my anchor

my safe place to land, my voice of reason

my "get over yourself" voice

my crush, my counsel and my confidant,

my best friend!

Dear Jennifer

I wish you a heaven full of stars

each one being someone your

life flashed on with your fiesty brightness

the ones who probably heard you say

this is just the way it is...

next! mmmHMM!

I wish you a giant swing in the sky

with the biggest “wheees” possible.

Dear Jennifer, Happy Birthday!

know I still miss you every day!

Do you have a best friend you adore?

For me, for Jennifer...tell them,

and don't delay...

"tomorrows" just a fleeting illusion!

Pam Piper Rain

The Seven Words of Talking Disney

Someone once told me I talked Disney,

"Disney? What do you mean?"

"You use words like goofy and dopey

all the time!"

hmmm, this was true,

and we laughed over it.

But, as a sort of writer kind of person...

is this funny even?

It isn't an overly mature or

intellectual language

or way of describing something

and probably won't get me

a public speaking gig,

(and certainly wouldn't

impress my hero, Elizabeth Gilbert

or Maya Angelo)

but I also don't see it necessarily

changing anytime soon, either!

So, I began to wonder,

if its Disney, I speak

what would the seven dwarves

of that language be?

(does it sound like I have too

much time on my hands here?

Hmmm? )

And... is dwarf, politically correct

to use, even in this context?

Anyways!

Crappy,

would be one

used often to relay a situation

or emotion

thats just, "not really great!"

Poopy,

(for sure)

cause there just isn't any sweeter way

to way to substitute the word

or need to say Sh--!

Dopey,

(interchangeable with Goofy)

as already stated and clearly

my most often used favorite

meant to describe anything

that's really lame!

(And...it just happens to be

a real Disney dwarf name

which is pure coincidence.)

Then there's Icky,

(and her twin sister, Ishy)

these two have traveled

with me many "life miles."

originating from childhood days

in Minnesota. (I think!)

Translation?

Bad food, worms, bugs, wet messes,

soggy ice cream cones,

running noses, smudgy wine glasses,

nose prints on window panes!

ugly shoes, laughable bizarreness,

sometimes even used to describe

"not nice" people!

...you get the picture..right?

These two, most often get a

"What?" in response!

A shrug and the reply,

"Grew up in the Midwest,"

gets me an excusable nod!

How many conversational occasions

can these two be used for?

You'd be surprised!

Crummy.

Is another favorite which of course

is about anything that's not good or fair

or wonderful or "just"!

(probably wouldn't fly in a court room)

but I am pretty sure when my cat

howls out the window while

"her dog" gets to go for a walk

she is THINKING

"This is really, crummy!"

And Creepy!

Love creepy!

love it for things that create chills,

mild revulsion's, a second look,

maybe even a picture...

any act of any laughable confusion

that would be followed

by my all time favorite

"Are You Kidding Me????"

Or the text version, of RUKM?

This would be the Doc of Disney words.

(The only dwarf that didn't end in Y.)

Course, if it is a really

outrageous situation,

the F word is added to the middle...

for a heightened level of expression!

So there you have it,

the seven Disney words of

my highly gifted cerebral world

of creative immature language!

Creepy, yucky, dopey, Icky/Ishy,

poopy, crappy...

and R U kidding me?

Did I really just write a blog

about words as dwarves...?

yikes!

And what about the picture?

(Yard art for a home in Phoenix!)

Really dwarves

in a cage? Why are they in a cage?

Or are they Gnomes?

And what' the difference

between a Gnome and a Dwarf?

And could there be seven Gnomes

of language as well...?

Oh dear,

time to go paint something!

Pam Piper Rain

My (funny) Hoop Life

Its dark, desert dark

And, I am bumping across it

in a VW bus with 40 plus hula hoops

crammed inside.

A string of Christmas lights (its May)

swinging merrily

from side to side,

a broken sink, chirps

like an insane mockingbird

and somewhere...

in between all the hoops and lights

three kids are laughing...

while their mom, the driver

tells them NOT to put glow stick

juice on their faces

but I can already see the glow

radiating off their mischievous smiles

through the multi colored taped tubing.

Too late, deed done!

And all I can think is,

how did this

become my life?

...my very funny life?

Surrounded suddenly by kids under ten and

hoops everything and desert nights,

where friends are spinning fire and poi?

Did someone forget to tell me

I joined the circus?

Maybe adopted by a young

Cirque du Soleil wanna-be-family,

or in training for Burning Man?

I am asked often, why hoops

and how did I get involved?

It began last summer with

a Walmart hula hoop,

some Facebook pictures

And an old HS classmate living in Texas

who hoops with her best friend,

she excitedly led me to

Hoopnotica's travel hoops

and I immediately ordered one for myself

and most of my friends!

If I was going to try so were they!

Hula Hooping!

Everyone either, remembers

they couldn't do it as a kid

and never figured out the secret,

or they were really good at it

and didn't know why!

I think I was one of the "couldn't" ones

and too shy to try beyond initial failure,

but the one thing everyone seems

to be clear on... is how much

they USED to cost!

These are not your 1950's

1.50 hoops, folks!

Oh, you can still find that variety

but you'll still feel unsuccessfully, ten

and unable to keep it waist level.

With a professional hoop, failure, is greatly

reduced to instant success!

Weighted and easy to use

the balance perfect,

the first spin quickly reveals

(for those of us, who couldn't)

it was never "us" to begin with...

it was the hoop!!!

So I began to hoop to music,

at barbecues and before paddling...

it had a meditative calming effect initially

everything metaphorically spiritual,

spinning, spirals, cycles, rotations,

revolutions, balance, circles, centeredness...!

Then? I got bored!

Had to be more to this!

Oh, my yes, there is!

It's called Hoop dancing

and it is beautiful in a way

I can only describe as a playful ballet,

circus style!

Or as the circus's more cool

and artistic sister,

a backyard Cirque du Soleil.

First there was the

purchase of a DVD,

then the discovery of Safire

from Hoopcity on youtube

and then came Amanda

and Peri, (my local hoop sisters.)

Its the last hour of a long week end

at a local art show

a beautiful white smiled

blond woman

approaches me,

with a armful of hula hoops

and a three year old,

(also super blond) in tow,

demonstrating the best

and biggest hooping I'd ever seen.

Someone had sent her down

the street to me...

cause they knew I was

a hoop maniac

(or as I now know

only in the beginning stages

of becoming that.)

I was so excited...

to know there was someone else in town

hooping it up,

Maybe too excited ?

Cause she looked terrified

as she walked away from me!

Life went on and I learned moves

modest ones but

to "my waist hooping only counterparts"

a dot inspiring,

a dot impressive

Didn't matter,

I was in love, purely and simply in love

with the opportunity,

do something really cool

and really fun

and great for the spirit and body!

I practiced and spun in

my back yard

(where my pool used to be)

over and over...

when I got to neck hooping

the portable version I favored

(and had shipping access to,)

kept getting caught in my hair,

cutting my lips with

it's put together parts

What I needed was, a REAL hoop!

But how to find that

in our strange small town?

Hmmm?

What about that woman I had met

and scared off at the Artfest

crum, what was her name again?

Leaving the park after paddling

one afternoon, the sun glinted

on some distant sparkling circles

in the grass and trees and...well,

everywhere

Look, my male hooping friend said, HOOPS!

(Yes, its for men as well!)

There it was, a VW bus

with a 100 plus hoops

on the front bike rack!

And that white smiled

crunchie Portland hooping mom

and friend to be, Amanda!

She had started a hoop jam in the park.

We greeted each other

enthusiastically embracing...

while bubbles floated around us!

Yes, there were bubble machines

and bubble wands all over!

Could this be this

my long lost twin soul sister?

...pretty sure!

I bought her signature hoop 'Sunburst'

a one pieced beautiful sparkling

orange sphere.

That was the first

of ten plus hoops to come!

Side note...

on heaven made connections?

Seems that Amanda and her mom

were big fans of mine,

buying my work for years

(Amanda's last birthday card

from her mom, was one of mine)

Although we had never met!

She invited me (and Oprah)

to her mom's celebration of life ceremony.

in 2006.

Neither of us attended!

Thus, the strange reaction

when we met years later over a hoop!

So we became good friends,

because of hooping?

I'd rather think,

it was because the two women

we loved and lost to cancer

had arranged it.

A grateful thank you,

to Jennifer and Nancy!

Then came Peri.

My hopes and dreams

of becoming a hoop certified instructor

dashed intially

by the revealtion,

"there already was someone in town!"

Crap!

As I got to know this delightful wisp of a girl,

that can make a hoop move

like it is a natural part of her.

I realized teaching hooping,

wasn't really my calling,

(hell, I am lucky if I can learn half of what

she TRIES to teach me)

Clearly, Peri's passion is hooping!

She IS hooping!

Eating, breathing and making them,

committed to every level of performing

and promoting the art!

She has collarborted with her,

very adorable, husband

to create Havasu's newest

sensation "Hava Fire"

Together they spin fire, Ben with poi

and Peri with hoops!

It is so breathtaking

and fortunately

for me (and my friends)

they love to join us for desert outings

and practice their moves!

Ambition, is Peri's middle name!

I have watched her go from

a few classes at Studio Seven,

to being a significant board member

and in bigger demand than she ever dreamed of

(or did)

Earning her the name "Hoop Girl."

Together, these amazing women

recently, joined forces and talents

WOWED, an audiance of 180

at the Cancer breakfast,

speaking and performing!

Proving (I hope) "hula hoops" have grown up.

And have far more wonderful implications than

just a "backyard kid" activity.

I am extremely honored to be,

one side of this hooping triangle!

(If there can be a hooping triangle!)

although a small and in the back ground side

Seems, we each have our thing...

Amanda is about the kids

and Hooping birthday parties,

Peri teaching and fire and performing.

Me? I get the average person to try it,

and direct hoop purchasers

to these young entepreneur mothers!

But, I love it best on the water!

So far, the only one to paddle board and hoop.

But, probably not for long!

My contribution to the hoop revolution?

Maybe!

The center of this triangle

is the hoop love,

being committed to the mutual support

of getting Havasu hooping.

I doubt I will ever have more than ten hoops

as opposed to Peri and Amanda's one hundred

And our clearest agreement?

I will NOT be making hoops.

None, nata... a gal can only do so much!

Live in Havasu?

Join us at 6 tuesday nights in Rotary.

There is music, hoops to try

and smiles everywhere

on all shaped bodies and ages!

And if you don't... find one

in your town and expect

to be surprised and hoopdelighted!

Pam Piper Rain

Hoop, hoop, hoop away,

We love to do it,

in the morning and all day

can't wait, can't wait to spin

you round and round

We love to play with you

because we're loosing pounds

spin, spin your beautiful light

we love to watch you in the night.

By Christine Hodge

Official Hoop Nut

Find Peri at

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yuUq7_fMJr0

http://www.studiosevenhavasu.com/

Amanda at

http://sunbursthoops.com/

Safire at

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ArKzOTCWyC8&feature=related

Me? (well you know, on the lake)